I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words. ~ Psalm 119:147
Have you ever lost hope?
I have lost hope before, and found myself in a desperate state. Whenever I lost hope, I lost sight of my future, I saw no purpose for my past and in my present tense, my life was a descriptive mixture of robotic and useless.
I would eventually dread the mornings. I didn’t have good enough reasons to get out of the bed. I knew what I wanted…I wanted to wake up with hope. I wanted to know early that my day would serve purpose. I wanted reasons to live in joy, yet I couldn’t, because I lost my hope.
But I was a Christian, a faithful churchgoer, serving in multiple roles in ministry. My internal struggle dictated that I continued my church habits, my external struggle showed my battle scars of depression, anger and frustration. Where did this go wrong?
As I look back at those times, I see that I placed hope in a lot of things. I hoped that my job would be secure and make me wealthy. I hoped that my dating relationships would make me fulfilled and relevant. I hoped that attending church would make me untouchable to sin. I hoped that money would make me attractive to “the right people”. I hoped that sex would lead me to a husband. I hoped that glasses of wine would lead me to peace.
It wasn’t until I went back to my first love, the one who loved me first, that I realized that I misplaced my hope. My hope and future would always be best found within His Word. The promises for my future, prosperity, joy could always be found in my fellowship with Him.
I was awake, very early this morning, it was my first instinct to turn on the television, catch reruns to make me “feel good and nostalgic” until I could get back to sleep. Yet, I felt a greater urge to keep the house quiet and spend some much needed time in fellowship with God.
In this scripture, the Psalmist reminds us that it is good for us to have this early morning time with God. It is these moments that His Word ministers to us, where we find help and hope for our day. It is in moments like these, our hope is established and does not become lost throughout the day.
Remember, if Hope can be lost, it can surely be found again! Praying that your day is full of hope and His promises!