No one knew that outside of going to church, necessary errands or planned events, I have been closed up in my bedroom for a little over a month.You would not have known this based on my social activity. I stayed active on social media. Even did a lot of writing for my next book.
I called it quiet time. This wasn’t true because it was everything except quiet. I allowed the enemy to creep in and whisper his lies. ‘Stay in the room because this is where you can work without anyone bothering you.’
The truth – I was isolating myself. There were days that people who live in the same house as me didn’t see me. I even went as far as taking the doorknob out of the door in order to prevent anyone from getting in.
Thursday morning, I shared this with my doctor. She said that I was going back into depression. Hearing those words sent me into a worse spiral. and I retreated to my bed and purposely slept the entire day.
Why am I sharing this…because the enemy would have loved to keep me operating in the spirit of depression. Even worse, I did not recognize that it was there, the changes were subtle and my isolation quickly turned into my normal.
After much praying, (in my room) it didn’t seem to lift. Then last night my nephew asked if I was coming into the living room to play UNO with the family. I declined right away, but the Spirit told me to get out of my room.
UNO turned into smack talking and tons of laughs. I even laughed as I was losing the games. Then we moved into karaoke and turned up the laughs greater.
I didn’t walk back in my room until about 1:30 am. and this time, it was only because it was time for bed. No isolation, I kept my door open and I slept in peace for the first time in weeks. The bedroom, that I had turned into a tomb, transformed back into my bedroom.
I am thankful that God called me out of that place of death. Depression is a dark place but yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me , Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Ayoka Boyce – Minister, Author, Blogger, Lover of Coffee